After 10's of thousands dollars in therapy fees, 5 years of therapy and 12 step meetings, why the f&*k would you finally do your formal disclosure and lie??

It is abuse.

Trigger alert:
My whole relationship with my husband has been about both of us recreating our childhood traumas. Mine is recreating my relationship with a sex addict father who was unable to love me and could never meet anyone's needs but his own.

My husband was abused by 2 men and recreates his lack of power and control he felt by controlling our relationship with his secrets and lies and acting out on me. It is abuse.

Why would you want to abuse someone who loves you when you know how painful it is to be abused and have your rights and safety stolen from you??

Oh and by the way, the sexual dysfunction my husband has been dealing with all these years isn't sexual dysfunction at all but his not being sexually sober and still masterbating. Nice!