all i have to do is imagine her as an adult man (a father of a friend) and me as a messed up 15 year old girl.
suddenly it does not seem so cool.
No, it wouldn't have been cool. It would have been totally fucked up and the things she did to/with you were definitely abuse in my eyes. Sure, you may have "consented", but a 36 year old person, regardless of their gender, should never put a 15 year old kid the position of having to consent or not, regardless of their gender. Also, what kind of a 36 year old adult gives a 15 year old drugs and alcohol? That's fucked
! I wouldn't have a problem with an adult being cool and allowing a kid that age to have A
beer, one maybe, but that's different. Her sick and selfish behavior endangered you and came at the expense of your heath and well being.
Remember that most young teens who wind up in these adult-teen relationships, don't normally see the relationship as abusive while it's going on. They often feel like the relationship makes them grown up and ahead of their friends. Adults who prey on kids that age know this, and take advantage of it. Sure, those relationships may not be abuse in the same way that they would be if the kid involved was 10, but they're still abuse and there really is no way around that. Take care. Peace,