when I was in college, I got tired of feeling used by the parents - and all the emotional manipulation - and the ultimatums and blackmail - to get me to do what they wanted - or they would not continue to support me and finance my education. this was BEFORE the abuse memories showed up (step-dad was the 1st perp). the last straw was when I discovered that they had been receiving Social Security checks for my benefit - monthly - since my real father died when I was days short of 3 years old - and they had never told me! i only found out when the checks were about to stop because of my age or my talk of taking a break from college. I felt cheated and betrayed. like i was their cash cow.
I finished my Junior academic year, dropped out with a good passing GPA, moved across country and lived a more-or-less hand-to mouth "bohemian" life-style. since then I have had minimal contact and communication with them - mail 2-3 times a year - and visits every 2-3 years. they thought of me as a "hippie" - but there were no drugs or orgies in my life. I was poor - but I was FREE! it was the best thing I could have done. I made it on my own. i finished university several years later - self-supported. I pursued art and theatre as a career - which they told me would be a failure - and successfully raised a family of 3 kids.
you don't have to continue to submit to abuse - mental, financial, emotional - whatever.
"My experience has shown me that I all too often tend to deny that which lies behind, but as I still believe, that which is denied cannot be healed." Brennan Manning, "All is Grace - A Ragamuffin Memoir"