...when my husband pleases himself?

I always know when he does that. I remember a few years back seeing the signs, but I trusted him so much, that I did not think he would do that.
I don't understand why.
I believe I am a good wife, and mother.
I feel useless, because our intimacy is horrible, he has problems, but I never once said anything to embarrass him or to make him feel bad about it.
And he prefers to please himself and lie to me. I feel so disrespected. It feels like he is a total stranger to me.
I am sorry If I am being childish, but he is my first boyfriend, the only man I've been with.
It makes feel useless, ugly.
I don't trust him by himself, it is always in my head that he will do it.
What should I do?
Should I feel this way?
Am I over reacting?

Thank you.