Pirate, so sorry you felt that way today. you certainly deserve to feel much better about yourself. and be easy with yourself, you definitely deserve that. this coming from a guy who spent two straight days in bed with abdominal pain because i didn't know how to let go of or deal with the pain. two straight work days... i have checked out from life before, too. sometimes, that's the best we can do. and that's okay.
good luck on the resched. and as was said before, if this isn't the T for you, that's okay too. just be kind to yourself, YOU DESERVE IT!
May your past be the sound of your feet upon the ground, carry on. ~Fun.