My first post here. Right now I'm seperated from my wife simply because she's tired of trying to love a man who can't freely show his love towards her. I have a real hard time trusting and giving and receiving love from people, especially romantice love. I think its because it associate people's love and intimacy with the sexual abuse from my childhood. My mother dated many men who abused me sexually when I was little.
Does anyone have a hard time showing thier love, like giving hugs, touching, cuddling? And has anyone ever gotten over it to be able to freely and with trust give love the one you love? Man, I'd love to chat with someone who is like me. I live in Ohio and I don't think there's a group around the columbus or Dayton area.
Since I've moved out and away from my wife, I hate to say this, but my depression has pretty much gone away. I don't have to worry about the whole intimacy thing now. That's so sad though. I've tried to explain it to my wife, it's like I'm in a cage. I love her but something inside me keeps me hidden. I want to be free and be able to love. I think she's tired of trying to find me. She's stopped looking. I can't blame her because she's a woman who deserves to be loved openly and honestly without reservation.
Anyway, anyone else like me?