Dear LN3 - I am so sorry that you had to join this group and this subgroup. I too experience being raped. I have been on so many different medications, including zoloft, that I've lost track. I was raped a little over 30 years ago. became a 4.0 sailor and even made sailor of the quarter. All the time, I never told anyone for fear of screwing up my career. The Navy was one of the best things in my life. But in the end, not dealing with the event, eventually manifested into PNES Seizures. As a former Mental Health/Mental Retardation Specialist, I couldn't imagine this ever happening to me. But it did and I am getting help. I do have a great therapist at the Erie VA and a wonderful wife. Medications and desired and undesired affect are normal. I'd like to add my support for those who have shared so far that it is just 1 tool and the array of arsenal of tools you'll be acquiring. It will get better and you will find what works and doesn't work. But you have to share with your therapist. I will keep you in my prayers that your journey will help you to get and feel better. If you are offended by my prayers, I do apologize, as it is the most highest and sincere thought that I can offer to someone.
Forgiving does not always mean everything goes back to the way it was. There are still natural consequences for what was done.