I was a little afraid to read it. I was afraid that logically it had to say that there was something positive about the behaviors since it doesn't seem that anything can be purely positive or negative.

But, I just forced myself to read it even though I was scared to do so. After reading it I have to say that I actually do understand my self-defeating behaviors a bit more. That wasn't the most helpful part about it, though. The most helpful was that it gave me a strategy for how to deal with these self defeating behaviors and overcome them. They may not be my fault, but I still want to overcome them.

Maybe without even realizing it I was sort of giving myself an option for an intervention by trying to find these books that I was searching for.