I'm hoping the best in your situation. I watch the cable programs often and there's sometimes survivors stories that are males, but mostly females. My speed and weed addictions I've been clean from for three years. I don't know how long you've been in recovery. But it get better overtime. Mostly it's willpower. The first year I was constantly having triggers to use. A argument with someone would magnify the need. Anything. After three years there are still situations that makes me want to use. But I know that one snort or puff would only be the start. I'm much more stronger each time I resist and turn to a support for help. I believe that you can be too. I hope all the best for you.