Many heartfelt thanks. Your acknowledgment of my experience is helping me a lot. I want to stay present. I've made some really big strides. I'm having nice moments with people I care about.
The fantasy world skipping I can understand. As the difficulties increase and the fear of the present grows, other ways of seeing feel better.
Now that I have taken the time to identify the fear, it seems to want to engulf me. I'm looking for new ways to say, "Hey, see I knew you were here. Now do we have to be so scary all the time? Can we just get used to walking without you every now and then? Don't worry, you'll have my attention, I just need to breathe and gather my strength to give it to you".
Something like that.
Lose the drama; life is a poem.