OCN - good post!
Jude is right about this! many of "us" have big issues with perfectionism and demanding a much higher standard of ourselves than we do from anyone else. i know i am more likely to be compassionate and forgiving and make allowances for others and accept them, including their flaws. but with myself, i will berate and blame and condemn and chastise mercilessly over any little perceived failure or falling short of what i have set up as the (impossibly high) goal.
recently, i asked my T what it would look like to be recovered or healed. he had me write out a list of what i thought. afterwards, i realized that the things i had described were practically impossible to attain - even for the most "normal" ultimate over-achiever. i immediately decided to cut myself some slack and be content with "progress, not perfection" - as Jude says (though i had not heard that phrase before and did not use exactly those words.) i think that - ironically - accepting - and as you say - allowing myself to make mistakes - is actually a pretty major sign of improvement.
Edited by traveler (04/02/13 07:47 PM)
"the scariest thing about abuse of any shape or form, is, in my opinion, not the abuse itself, but that if it continues it can begin to feel commonplace and eventually acceptable."
- Alan Cumming, "Not My Father's Son"