OCN - good post!
Jude is right about this! many of "us" have big issues with perfectionism and demanding a much higher standard of ourselves than we do from anyone else. i know i am more likely to be compassionate and forgiving and make allowances for others and accept them, including their flaws. but with myself, i will berate and blame and condemn and chastise mercilessly over any little perceived failure or falling short of what i have set up as the (impossibly high) goal.
recently, i asked my T what it would look like to be recovered or healed. he had me write out a list of what i thought. afterwards, i realized that the things i had described were practically impossible to attain - even for the most "normal" ultimate over-achiever. i immediately decided to cut myself some slack and be content with "progress, not perfection" - as Jude says (though i had not heard that phrase before and did not use exactly those words.) i think that - ironically - accepting - and as you say - allowing myself to make mistakes - is actually a pretty major sign of improvement.
Edited by traveler (04/02/13 07:47 PM)
"My experience has shown me that I all too often tend to deny that which lies behind, but as I still believe, that which is denied cannot be healed." Brennan Manning, "All is Grace - A Ragamuffin Memoir"