I didn't think that I would be back here because of my own shit but someone let me know about you. I don't know why the modteam would remove your posts but you will get to know what might be too triggering or improper to say here. It's usually for good reasons so don't let it get you down. I've had similar situations but you kind of get used to the flow with time so don't let it bother you too much, they do mean well and care for the good of the general population here.
I think that you will do well to get involved here. First of all for your benefit but you will also be able to help others with their shit. It is not easy but you come to belong to a brotherhood which I sort of betrayed by disappearing from the site. I have to thank one of my friends here for telling me about you and it is because of you that I returned even if it's only for this one post.
Stay here and get involved, you will never find a better bunch of guys that knows from where you're coming that the people you will find here. There is a mess of help available to you here and you will heal with their help. but it's give and take and you need to get involved.
I hope I was able to help you a little and to know that you aren't alone. Your story is not unheard of. I know I didn't leave my profile up here or my avatar or signature but just know that you should stay and get involved and not fuck up and leave like I did, stay involved.
Peace, Rainbows, Love & Healing
Stick around, It will get better....🌹🌹🌹