Hey Sam. Was just stopping by and seen this. I feel you pain bro. This is the devil bringing in condemnation on you. The bible says that we have been made new and the old is dead. We have no condemnation thru Christ. This is the devil using tactics to keep us away from our rightful feeling. 2 Cor 5:17 is a verse I love. Especially as a survivor. It is hard for us to let our past go. But The Lord says we are made NEW, not improved or rebuilt but completely new. Praying for you in this brother. Take care
Ephesians 6:13

Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand.

Ephesians 5:25

Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her