Dano, many times guys who have been sexually abused, seek destructive behaviors as a way to deal with the stress or post traumatic stress of being molested. It would be a good thing to see the therapist that you mentioned as soon as you possibly can or seek another one if possible. There is a lot to carrying this burden, but you are doing some correct things such as being here and telling your story, getting it out in to the open. This sort of thing is very hard on a Wife and it might be good for her to seek therapy also, maybe with the same person. Staying with a Man in the position that we find ourselves in requires a tremendous amount of patients and faith. You are correct in stating that none of this has anything to do with her. I hope that at some point she can come to believe it. My Wife has hung in there with me through it all. She has been amazing. I know that it has been tough on her. The things she requires of me are, no other Women and that I do the best I possibly can to avoid handling the PTS in wrong ways. This had brought a measure if freedom to me. I am on the honor system with her and I do my best to live up to that. The point is that she is dealing with it in such a way that brings as little stress back to a Man who is already dealing with a lot. Wives need help to cope much as we do, they are living the bad dream with us. If a Man finds a good Wife, he had found a good thing. God bless them! They need all they can get. smile
If someone throws trash on my lawn and drives away, it is mine to deal with. I make the decision whether to collect it or take responsibility for cleaning it up. We are the sum of our choices. For some, these were thrust upon us at an age when we were not qualified to take such resposibility. R.J.