I see myself in you
your hair is mine
dark, shiny, wavy,
your brown eyes are mine
dark, fearsome, gentle

Your mannerisms are mine
confident, self-assured
easy- going

The build of your body
the size of your hands
the shape of your face

...and I swell with pride

I see myself in you
but my experience
my betrayal by man
must never be yours

The pain of my heart
the filth of my memories
I shall not share
with you today

And I fear for you,
my son
so much like me
so beautiful in God's hand
so fragile on this earth

My first born
my serious one
I watch over you
pleased to see you grow
-but afraid for you

Protecting you
I want to share my fears
I want to say
"it happened to Dad, be careful- trust not"
but I don't

I want to take your hand
and run with you toward

I want to hold you back
to enjoy the childhood
I didn't know

But I can't

So I watch
...always watch

Once upon a time between the CSA and the ASA, I was a husband, a dad- a family man. I was a good man- a happy man. I had written this as a private piece to my oldest son. I may not have been so successful in protecting myself in later years, but I did take care of my sons.
For now we see through a glass, darkly.