Bad day--many negative thoughts crossed my mind. Had therapy yesterday and I left a bit unsettled. Talking and uncovering emotions and memories, it sometimes has this effect on me--realizing how real everything is and processing some thoughts for the first time that I can remember. Emotions bubbling that were buried for decades erupting. Maybe this is part of the process releasing everything around the abuse, memories, emotions and those around the triggers. I can forgive those that triggered the past, but the abuser I cannot but I know somehow I must forgive myself and the part of me that has those emotions of love or feeling special to the abuser. Sometimes I think that part of me sees the hurt the abuser did but until I welcome that part of me into the whole the abuser is all he has. I am slowly letting that part in, learning to love that part of me. It is all so complicated--and draining. Thanks

Edited by KMCINVA (03/22/13 02:01 PM)