Itís so hard to build your self-esteem back up, especially now that I know what happened, it just makes so much sense, I never was in control of anything, but I can control when I die, something I could do all on my own, something I could finish and be proud of. I canít control whatís in my head when it comes when it goes, but I can end it. My need for control is so destructive wow; I just canít believe how self-delusional I can be.

Thanx Candu, MS.

"it has never yet been discovered how to make man unknow his knowledge, or unthink his thoughts"

T. Paine