Hi Shalom! Sorry to hear about what you are going through. My abusers were mostly female as well, although they were not family members. I can't say that I identify with feeling like the abuse "made me a woman" but I can somewhat identify with feeling like the abuse robbed you of your soul. I'd urge you to stay strong when it comes to not contacting your parents. If the relationship is that toxic and after what they did, they don't deserve to have you in their lives. Lean on your partner. Share your pain here. Find strength, hope and solice where you can find it. Stay strong. Peace.