I got kicked in kickboxing. I know.... shocking right? I got KICKED in KICKboxing??? Who'd have thought that could happen? But my so-called friend told me it would be non-contact, it was just supposed to be training. And it was, till after when he decided we should have a boxer v kickboxer fight (so he could show off to some girls who were hanging around. And I should add I have not trained properly in over a year now, so I should have just said no). I ended up getting kicked in the lower stomach area. And probably a few other places, but that's the place that's bothering me most. When I woke up this morning it felt like this horrible feeling I just knew I felt before. All day I haven't been able to get rid of this feeling. Why can't I just get bruised and have it feel like I got kicked??? Why does it have to feel like something from the past?

Today we were having lunch, listening to the radio, on the news they were saying that more soldiers are being diagnosed with PTSD. Same friend says "that's because they know they can fake it and no one will find out, then they can claim sickness benefits." Seriously? SERIOUSLY??? Who even thinks those things? I just listened to a guy talking about seeing his friend get blown up. How can some people have no empathy at all?

Lately this seems to be all I think about. Like when I listen to music I can just about always relate the lyrics to abusive situations. And talking to another friend about a book where the ending was ambiguous I said I thought the kid ended up being abused, but he disagreed. When I watch any kind of drama it's the first thing I assume is going to happen. I think about it before I go to sleep, dream about it then wake up thinking about it.

What can I do to get a break from it? Just like an hour thinking about something else would be nice.