Dear Ela,

Seems you and your husband are both amazing people. You for your willingness to give him a chance, to help him and for the gift of insight and forgiveness that you possess. For your husband, who although a perpetrator, has worked through treatment to understand and change his behavior. Not an easy accomplishment or one that most abusers are capable of, he is to be admired for this. He also deserves to have support and therapy for being a victim himself. He, having been hurt and betrayed by abusers himself, especially his mother, requires no less. It's very difficult to believe and confusing to admit that your own parent is capable of caring for you in many good ways and hurting you so profoundly in other ways. With help, I think he's more than capable of sorting this out, of coming to terms with it and of healing from it and moving forward. With your support and help it increases the chances.

I wish both of you the best of luck in healing and in claiming a better life for yourselves and your family.

"It's never too late to be what you might have been."

George Elliot

"You cannot find peace by avoiding life."

Virginia Woolf