It sounds like you guys talk a lot. That's great. It also sounds like he does listen to you (with a little griping but still listens). That's great too. I was also a WRECK when my beloved first started his healing. We fought a little and I cried a LOT- I still cry sometimes because it makes me sad that the man I love was wronged so brutally and I get sad when he gets really sad, but the more he goes to therapy and the more he opens up the more relaxed we both are. It gets easier as long as the help continues. You sound like an amazing woman. It does take time- but the beginning of a new thing is always the hardest.