Thank you for sharing this. It's really an emotional rollercoaster to read. I don't usually do crying but reading what you wrote, yeah... I'm so bad with words but I think you are doing amazingly well. And you come across as really strong and determined, like stuff you know will hurt you do it anyway. It's good to read, and makes me think I need to (and can) get it together and do therapy properly.
Something happened to me where I was left really really cold. And sometimes now I have a feeling that I can only describe as cold. Usually I wear thermal base layers and I have these certain kind of sheets on my bed that are extra warm. I spend a lot of time in bed just being warm. Of course everyone else thinks I am lazy.
Good luck with the next part of your therapy.