Originally Posted By: whome

What she said to me was that I did not put her first, I need to put her first, she needs to be put on a pedestal, I need to find balance and always put her first.

I'm the wife of a survivor and admit that it's not easy to deal with all this. But I would NEVER DARE to make such a demand on my spouse. You do not keep a tally in a relationship. And sometimes you do not come first, you come second.
I'm so sorry for you that you have to go through this, after having the courage to seek help, and putting your energy into your healing. You deserve a standing ovation and a big celebration!