Like, txb, same here, Pero.
I tried it out (being with a guy) and it wasn't the same at all, huge difference and I realized that no matter the inclinations I may have or thoughts of sex with a guy, everything else was lacking. Yeah, it was cool to have someone to hang out with and be able to do things of a sexual nature (was never really into reciprocating) but everything else felt flat and I was only happy for very short moments.
My relationship with my ex (a girl) was much better, despite the emotional and partly unwanted sex (to a degree) was much more fulfilling, made me much happier, and to me felt much more normal.
I want to get to a better place too, Pero. I hope you get there soon.