First Thank you all for the posts. I understand that we are very different from men and it is much harder in some areas than others for each of us.
YES, I feel like he uses sex as a crutch and has for years, yes on the porn ( this has subsidded some) If I say no he takes it personal against himself, not against sex at the moment. He believes that because we are married sex should happen anytime anyplace. Sure if we lead a balanced life and it just happened. smile

Most people that I know of never experienced what he thinks he missed.
So true!!! Sorry if I didn't post this correctly still learning the site.

H went to therapist for only 3 months after discovery and then said it was a waste of money. He just takes it out on me most of the time. This last weekend we spent a good 48 hours of anger, bitterness, etc.....I am just so exhausted with this!! He calls me names and brings up EVERY mistake from our whole marriage to get angry and hurt about. I just can't keep living in the past like this. I have mentioned he needs to talk to someone else, mentioned this site, if I walk away from his anger(even though I tell him why I'm leaving the room) he says I'm ignoring the problem and that I'm selfish.