one week from today i see my T again. he has been away for 5 weeks now. it has not been easy. today was especially bad. a couple of triggers that totally surprised me. one was totally new. i thought i was over that. it had been a while since this kind of panic reaction and i guess i got into a false sense of complacency.

BUT - i can make it for another week. i have really relied upon you all to help me make it through. if i didn't have this place to come to, i don't know what i'd have done. ironically - i feel safe here. paradoxically - i get comfort from hashing out our issues together. just being able to be in the "company" of other guys who get it makes me feel better. even when not discussion my posts, it has strengthened and encouraged me - just knowing that i am not alone - and am accepted - as i am.

thank you all - for being there.
"My experience has shown me that I all too often tend to deny that which lies behind, but as I still believe, that which is denied cannot be healed." Brennan Manning, "All is Grace - A Ragamuffin Memoir"