dark empathy,

Those are really great suggestions. I can't have a pet at the moment unfortunately, owing to my lease and financial situation, but I've always found comfort in them. I wish I had a dog, but I suppose that must wait. I never thought about team sports as therapeutic, but then again I've my own long-standing issues with them that I'm working on as well. Maybe my insurance will cover massage therapy (a great idea!) but I understand when you say such ministrations are unpleasant--I admit the thought of having to pay/beg to be touched makes me very upset.

Maybe a chiropractor is what I need, as you hit on there LazyPirate. I am always incredible tense. No surprise, really. And Davo, I understand all too well.

I'm curious, though, does anyone else have problems touching others? I mean, a big part of why I'm terrified of dating and intimacy is that it means I have to touch others, and it's the same situation--I long to, but even that makes me uncomfortable if there is any sense of intimacy.

I'm just having a bad time these past few days. It makes me so very sad to find myself so cut off from what makes life bearable.