Yep, this sounds incredibly familiar, indeed I've posted questions hear about the same sort of thing myself. Touch is difficult, yet at the same time safe touch is exactly what I want, just miner physical affection indeed much of the communication I desire with another person that goes beyond friendship would be none s/xual, affectionate touch.
I've got a couple of suggestions, but these are only slightly miner.
1: none triggering but absolutely genuine physical affection and communication is something you can! experience with animals. Myself, I am and have always been hugely tactile, ---- just not with people. Not quite 18 months ago I got a guide dog, and I have really! noticed the difference, since for her, physical proximity and affection is quite a casual thing, plus of course because (as she is a guide dog), we're together literally all the time and have! to have a good working relationship. I've actually noticed that with animals, my ability to express myself through physical touch has often let me make connections that other people don't, even with animals who don't tend to trust humans normally (I suppose they recognize a kindred spirit). So, I'd strongly advise getting a dog, ---- or perhaps a rat or ferrit if you prefer (yes, both rats and ferrits are hugely physical and unlike other rodents such as hampsters can really! form an emotional connection with you).
Cats in general I've found hit and miss, I've met some cats that are hugely! physical and love to be around people, indeed when i was in egypt two years ago I met a small jouvenile cat who decided he absolutely loved! me (i wanted to bring him home with me, since i got the idea that while he wasn't misstreated, he was primarily a working cat not a pet and so was rather lonely).
2: Join an activity where physical touch is regularly part of proceedings, but in a very strictly regulated manner. For me, this is light opera and performance, since physically dancing with other people is a necessity, and holding hands, dancing and even embracing is all part of things, yet is utterly and strictly regulated by the director's orders. Similar activities might be different forms of dancing, indeed I've considdered trying ball room myself, or exercises like Yoga. The important part however is that you experience!" touch with another person, especially a female other person, but as part of an activity and to another purpose, rather than going for the big emotional bit straight off.
I have had people suggest massage, (no, this doesn't mean a prostitute but a professional therapist), though myself I've not really been comfortable with that option, indeed the thought of submitting to that sort of ministration from someone else (particularly fi the someone else were female), is really! unpleasant.
As I said I'm not fully sorted with this myself. I have noticed recently with my latest production group I do not flinch quite as much with physical affection, and get included in affectional displays among group members more readily than previously, though I've not really got there yet and know I still have along way to go with this.
Hope some of these suggestions are usefull.