If you read around here you'll notice that you are not alone, so many people have experienced something similar. I know that it's not easy and I'm relatively new on the road to some sort of healing but I've found that notion very helpful.

Talk about it, read through these forums and if you don't have a therapist you should probably look for one-getting it out is a big first step.

I recently discussed my issues with a therapist and he talked a lot about sexuality and how it's often not so cut and dry-theres more fluidity to it for most (kinsey scale), and hearing him say "it's okay to be straight and have done what you've done" was such a huge weight off my shoulders...good luck.