Latin phraseology aside, I'm gonna get serious for a moment and vent some via train of thot.

I'm not noticing any side effects except perhaps some additional fatigue. One of you guys asked about the lawn, considering I could only cut half of it a few weeks ago before having to quit. This week I managed the whole thing, albeit with a break between doing the front and the back. It's frustrating as hell. I tell myself, "...but I should be able to do this! [like normal people]"

I know there's a mind-body connection. As I've digested it, the baseline numbers were more of a shock than I expected. Go figure I glommed on Pedro Zamora's CD4 being the same as mine just before he died, tho' in '94. And ran across a 2012 article citing a study indicating that those who started HAART with a CD4 <100 had a considerably shorter life expectancy than those who started at >350. At my 50-something age, I rationalize, it probably doesn't make a difference.

But, between the lack of stamina, a few nasty (but treatable) infections and The Dreaded Numbers, my head's not in a good place on this subject. I got really sick in '01 and, given my 5-7 year prognosis in '93, kinda figured that was it. I'm feeling similarly now...sometimes worse.

I'm still functioning. The work/home basics are getting done. I don't have that emaciated, bug-eyed "sick" look (mygawd yes, I wouldn't be a model fag if I wasn't vain as hell). Sense of humor's mostly intact. But I still feel like I'm in decline.

I suspended the new T search - another thread entirely. And a lot of you know I've made some remarkable progress reconnecting with some empathetic family members...all without a T. But I'm reconsidering one guy who, though not familiar with CAPS (PTSD) evaluations, seemed to have a good, particularly responsive manner and specialized in HIV.

That's about it on the vent. Next bloodletting/results Tues. I think any indication of improvement would start to help my head a lot.