This is something i'd just like to mention since I didn't feel I handled it as I could've done.
last night in the bar after rehearsal, after one bloke had a couple of comedic sexist remarks about men being lead by their you know whats, I couldn't help myself saying "not all men" and mentioning that I'd much rather be female.
one girl got extremely angry about this and started on the hole feminist kick, the 30 percent less pay. she then got into s/xual harrassment talk and mentioned that lovely "%70 of all men would rape a woman if they could" to which i responded with the one in six, though she didn't feel this was important and basically just constantly ranted about women culmninating in admitting angrily that she'd been raped and how men should be sensured. i responded to this by mentioning the "research" I'd done on male sa and how a man could be austrosized from soceity, ridiculed and seen as a monster for admitting his experience, but she really didn't take this and just got angrier. it was on the tip of my tongue to start in on misery poker, but I wasn't prepared to do that,, not in a public setting like that so I just said "I think we should change the subject" said girl didn't take this and started on a wrant when I next continued somewhat more forcefully with "I think we should change the subject before I say something I'd regret!"
My tone was extremely quiet, but very cold, and I'm pretty sure the two other guys picked up that I at least had history of this and the "research" wasn't exactly cold.
One guy, with infinite presance of mind then started straight in with how much he hated the twilight films, and I then employed my social skills and started making jokes about comparing vampires to mosquitos.
My problemis I don't think i handled this correctly. I didn't show sympathy to said girl, because she basically belittled me inspite of her admition, indeed part of me seeing her there looking pretty with her boyfriend and admitting in the bar wanted to say "well even if you were! raped it's not exactly had much affecft on you has it" which I know would've been wrong. part of me also wanted to use my own victim status as a club to beat this angry girl into submission, but I know that would've been wrong as well, yet I'm not convinced my cover up was particularly good either, since if I! had heard someone speaking as I did and sensed the emotions I'm pretty sure I was projecting it would've been as good as an admition, but then again i know that perhaps I am more sensative to such things.
I'm fairly sure people will forget, as usual, but how do I deal with this in future?
Anger is hard enough to deal with, especially justified anger, but how do I cope with anger about! my abuse and such situations? yes, I'd like to stand up and just say "I was gang raped and s/xually humiliated by girls when i was a teenager" but I know what that would do to others I was with at the time, ---- particularly the girl I happen to have fallen in love with who, while not a part of that conversation was at least in the same room.
Any advice in case this happens again? how might I have handled it differently? I do you squre reasonable disclosure, honesty, and anger?