Oh yeah, I don't have to love anyone, and certainly not ma. Just because they're your family doesn't mean that they are capable of love or deserve it for that matter. Dealing with those people is very dangerous for me, they know how to push buttons and I can get easily distracted, emotionally derailed, manipulated, etc. Getting away from my family was best thing I ever did.
"what matters most is how well you walk through the fire"
-Charles Bukowski