Originally Posted By: GoodHope
I think you are correct. ...
We think that the freedom from the distorted thinking and shame cycle from acting out is inducement enough. And for some it is. And for others it's something else that encourages them and for others, the comfort that comes from living what you've always known, the fear or the shame too great to face the demons, they just stay the same.

i believe this is true. getting "better" is a lot of hard work - and takes sustained effort, concentration, goal-setting, follow-through, long-term commitment, sheer dogged determination, willingness to own the pain, and facing up to a lot of ugly truths - often about outselves, as well as about the perps and the cirumstances and events of the abuse. AND it also takes hope.

some guys have given up. some have had every bit of hope beaten out of them or stolen. some are just too tired of the struggle to endure to give another ounce of energy to change. some are afraid of what might come out during therapy. some just don't know how to start or where to turn. some need patience and gentleness and some need a hard kick in the butt. i see guys on the survivors forums who are just treading water - putting out a lot of effort but not making much progress. i see others who are stuck in the mud - paralyzed and can't even seem to take another step. there are some who take it one step at a time - like the tortoise in the race - and will eventually win. and then there are those who rise from the ashes and fly away.

not sure what the answers are - but "better" is a relative term. even if i can't expect full recovery - i know that i don't have to stay the same as i was - or as i am now.

still plodding - and hoping to soar,
How long, LORD, must I call for help, but you do not listen?
Or cry out to you, “Violence!” but you do not save?
Why do you make me look at injustice?
Why do you tolerate wrongdoing?...
Therefore the law is paralyzed, and justice never prevails....
Habakkuk 1:2-3