1. A lot of the men on this site have experienced sexual fantasies about males/use porn/have sexual addictions/act out sexually, resulting from the CSA. My survivor seemed to be afraid of sex, I was his first (consensual) partner, it took us a long time to get to a point where he felt comfortable and sex with him became very intimate, caring and loving. To my knowledge, he dislikes porn, never really interested in anything sexual. But do you still think that he fantasizes about other males? Could have acted out with other males/females? I am paranoid because of other's experiences. To my kowledge, the nature of his abuse was a violent rape from his older brother. What do you think? Is it possible that he doesn't share the same similar issues regarding sexuality with other survivors? I would love to hear from any survivors who have gone the no sex path as opposed to sexual addiction path (if that's possible)?
2. Is separation ever helpful? At the moment he has gone away because he says he wants me to find "happiness". His self-loathing is to an extent where he feels he is taking me down with him and I contributed to this idea as I broke down recently and in my state of absolute helplessness told him that I was just as "damaged as him now". Trust me, I know this was NOT the right thing to say. So the question is, now that we are not together, will this time apart be helpful for him to decide what he wants/decide to finally stop running from CSA? (he has not yet began his healing path, but he has said he that he will see a professional, although he only said this once and then the idea vanished from his mind). Or would the separation confirm that I am untrustworthy in his mind, in that I do not truly love him, and nobody does (as he believes) and lead him to feel abandoned?
These questions keep me up at night so any help would be fantastic.