So good question/topic.
I want to reclaim my past and to reduce the negative impacts made by sudden appereance of negative feelings like isolation, abandonment, neglect, helpless, loneliness...I want to stay present when scared and in some negative spot.
Actually when I close my yes I want to have positive image of myself in first place.
I want to have control over my habit of watching porn and hyper-sexuality.
I want to be constructive, affirmative and positive in first place comparing to it's negative antipodes that attract me sometimes like with some gravity force.