i agree with you that sometimes we are pulled into things we wouldn't ordinarily do because of the trauma of the CSA.
i think it is common for many CSA survivors do things that are not 'ordinary.' We were groomed or threatened into doing things we wouldn't ordinarily.
i see a big difference in two boys experimenting, and someone grooming you to do their bidding. i think you are OK DavO. As we learn and grow in this, we change things for the better. Your T will be a big help in guiding you, and most of us here are in your corner, rooting you on to better things in life.
Fear and worry are a big part of many guys reactions as they begin to sort through the abuse and come to terms with it. Take care my friend.
If you cannot control what happens to you, you can control your attitude toward what happens to you, and in that, you will be mastering change rather than allowing it to master you.
~ adapted from: Sri Ram