Welcome but sorry you have to be here--but you are in good company. Take your time, feel safe and only share when ready. It is a journey--a few steps forward and sometimes one or two back. Your emotions will run across the board. Feel free to vent, we all have been there and I return regularly. Surround yourself with compassionate people. Remember what happened was not your fault and how you reacted to it through life was your way to cope, to survive. If you acted out, the source was the abuse and emotional triggers--it was your way to deal with the abuse. As you begin to heal you learn acting out did not bring you the relief and acceptance you needed.
Keep well, stay here and we all listen with a nonjudgmental ear.