Hi Leb, welcome to MaleSurvivor, although this situation is difficult, you are in the right place. Thank you for your patience and understanding in working with your survivor, the personal boundaries you have to keep yourself safe and content seem positive, well done!

Survivors struggle with SSA, Same Sex Attraction, also with OSA, Opposite Sex Attraction. This indecision is often due to the abuse, not just in the gender of the abusers, but also the damage to the boundaries of appropriate sexual behavior. Survivors are overwhelmed sexually, some before they have developed the personality to manage that very powerful reaction in their bodies. Suddenly every part of their lives is sexualized and there are no boundaries. Men, women, objects may be the focus of sexual attention as this powerful craving courses through a survivor like hunger to an animal will force it to unnecessary and sometimes life endangering risks, so to is the power of sexual abuse control.

Survivors cling to and can be dependent on their mates, fiercely loyal within a monogamous relationship, but when the abuse demands to be satiated, those thoughts and feelings push the survivor to action. If the thoughts do not agree, the abuse control can in extreme situations turn off the cognitive functions of the mind, creating an alternative personality that will fulfill the urges. Your survivor will have to explore these with a qualified therapist to understand where he is in this process, or what process he is experiencing.

Please do what you need to to be safe and content during this issue, come to an accurate knowledge and make affirming decisions for your health and safety.

My best to you,
MaleSurvivor Moderator Emeritus 2012 - 2014