There are two entirely different issues here.

If your husband has no compassion to you and accuses you of hurting him when you have no idea what he's talking about, that's a bad problem that does reflect on trust issues and you ought to tackle it head-on, maybe with help from your T.

If he's more comfortable talking about sexual victimization with others than with you... that's kind of normal, as far as that word carries here anyway. Men need to be perceived as strong and self-controlled in relationships, and we believe that is how our wives / girlfriends see us too. It feels awful to talk about a severe and abiding weakness, about being a victim, about having responses even you yourself don't entirely understand to hurts that happened so long ago. And, yeah, theres also a sense of guilt or constsntly owing an apology if you knew of the abuse but didn't tell her, or only recalled it later. There are more issues than Archie and Jughead.

I hate talking about it with my wife - I do it because she found out on her own and left me no choice, because communication is important in that new paradigm, and the more I keep her "in the loop," the less her chances of a can't-deal-with-this-new-shit meltdown that leaves us both in tears. I hate that she could have reason to see me as different, even if she swears she doesn't. I went a full month of full recall of this shit without telling her, and she only found out by freak accident; I really regret that because honestly I think I could have kept it from her forever, or at least until I was in a more stable footing with answers for myself, let alone for her. After 3 months post-disclosure it's seriously only been like the last 4-5 days that I'm in any way comfortable talking calmly about it with her. It's like, I dunno, trying to calm an alley cat that's been kicked too many times. Possible but drawn-out.

My story

"Don't think it hasn't been a little slice of Heaven just because it hasn't!" --Bugs Bunny