I first experienced abuse 40 years ago at the age of 11. The perp was a grad student in guidance and counseling at the local university who I came in contact with while he was a children's choir director at church. He convinced my parents that I should come to his apartment for IQ testing and it was part of his thesis. Alone with him, he pinned me down, pulled off my pants, made comments about my penis and the lack of pubic hair, and then proceeded to "show me how to masturbate." He then offered me a Playboy so I could practice what he taught me. I don't remember much after that except that there was a knock on my door and it was my brother coming to get me since the session was over. That knock saved me from further abuse. For some reason my parents never let me go back. 8 years later, I was camping with family and friends in the mountains of Colorado. I must have had "vulnerable" written all over me. One night, the husband of the couple who owned the cabin, decided to sleep next to me out on the deck. I was in a sleepy haze when I heard the sound of the sleeping back being unzipped. He then proceeded to slide his hand down my stomach until he reached my penis. He proceeded to masturbate me. I was frozen in fear, and memories of the previous abuse came back. I don't remember if I ejaculated or not, I never told anyone, and buried the memories for 30 years now. However, I acted out my pain without realizing why. Last year is when it all changed. I was in the hospital and had two surgeries and had part of my intestines removed. I had to have a catheter inserted. When it was time to remove it, the nurse came in and had her hand on my penis as she removed the catheter. At that moment everything came back to me. The memories flashed back as though the abuse had just happened. I remember screaming inside my head to get your hands off my penis. 40 years of buried memories came out. In the past year, the images of my past have gotten stronger. It came to a head when I was watching a tv show about survivors of abuse, and it was though my story was being told on screen. The subject of the show ended with saying how he got help, and it made me realize that I needed help. Since then I've sought out a therapist so that I can begin the healing process