This is so wonderful to read, a heart to heart conversation to someone you trust. I like the way you are so frank about your feelings in this letter to your sis. If I as an imperfect human being could understand you this way how much more so our heavenly father Jehovah. Hang in there my brother and get better each day. Jehovah sees it all and is about to make lasting changes in this satanic world. Beseech Him in prayer and each day Jehovah will make you strong and firm.
This has opened my eyes to what might be going on with my H although he still is in a state of denial and angry at the whole world.
I am better now that I am no longer with him and can serve my God with more focus and calmness than the turmoil I had inside of me before I left him. My child is happier now because there are no fights and yelling, screaming and anger in our little nest. He does not support us But we are so well fed because we eat and drink laughter, play, hugs and kisses then we pray and go to bed content that He is looking out after us. Our daughter misses him more than I do. But I now know better that I am better off without his dysfunctionality. After all nothing and no one can help him but himself and i am done trying that. My moving out has helped me so much to reconnect spiritually with my God again in these turbulant times that call for His guiddance and comfort.
If you want to accomplish the goals of your life, you have to begin with the spirit.
Surround yourself only with people who are going to lift you higher.