Well myself, dancing is out entirely, so all that stuff about men who can't dance drives me nuts. What is odd though is friends of mine who have what I'd term good relationships didn't find their partners dancing, mostly they were friends who they met through mutual interests of one sort or another and something "naturally happened" well myself I'm 30 and nothing has ever "naturally happened" to me at all, despite a large percentage of female friends, so god knows, I don't even understand what "date" is meant to mean as a verb anyway since while I've been out for coffee, drinks, to other events and such with female friends many times I've never once been on what one could call a date, indeed as far as I'm concerned nobody has ever been interested in me as more than a friend, ---- which is either because nobody has been or because I lack that ability to pick up that someone could be which everyone else is supposed to have learnt.

This is why my solution has been my resolution, to devote my life to music, writing and creativity and attempt to crush the desire for a relationship. It's not something I'd recommend to everyone, and I don't always succeed, but I have had more peace myself since (despite falling in love again for the first time in three years in december of last year).

as to casual s/x, well my genophobia makes that a little difficult. It's something I've considdered paying someone for, but even if I could avoid my panic reactions long enough to even take my clothes off let alone get further, I sort of dread what I'd feel like the next morning.

On the disclosure point, well I do remember one occasion where I do wonder if not! disclosing actually lost me a relationship. A certain female friend I'd known for a long while was visiting me a lot, us going out together fairly often, she also attempted to give me a hug on on one occasion (which unfortunately caused me to freeze). She told me nearly her life story, which is pretty usual with me and girls, my parents, as well as various other people now suspect she was interested in becoming more than friends, but of course, this was something I didn't pick up myself, indeed I had no knolige of such. Yet, part of me does wonder if I had! explained to her precisely why I was not able to understand if she was! interested in me whether she would've been far more honest and not relied on these mysterious "natural signals" whatever the hell they're supposed to be (yee gods! women have it easy! I'd love to be able to just sit around and wait for a guy to ask me!).

My friend was extremely emotionally stable and I'm fairly sure wouldn't have freaked out on me, and I knew she was feeling quite lonely at the time since she'd just finished her degree and all her friends had moved on, and had several months previously broken up with her previous boyfriend (indeed she told me as much).

This is why I am sticking to my resolution. I've tried the dating sites thing, tried reading books and advice, but nothing tends to make a difference, indeed three quarters of the advice basically boyles down to "be a good friend not a pig" and I try to do that anyway and it still doesn't help.

So, my resolution, the only relationship I will have any certainty of is that with the mues of poetry!