I'm exhausted and may write more later but the bottom line to the current issue I'm facing is:
I endured many years of rape and molestation and am actually more angry at my mother for allowing it to happen than my father for having done it. When I became an adult, I cut off all contact with her.
This past year my best friend went through a very emotional upheaval with his family because his mother literally became senile and didn't recognize him. He felt guilt like cray and kept nagging at me to contact mine.
!!!!If you have a better, more peaceful life after cutting your mother out of it... DON'T EVER LET ANYONE CONVINCE YOU THAT YOU NEED TO LET THEM BACK IN!!!!!
There's a lot more to it but I'll explain later.
DON'T LET SOMEONE ELSE'S GUILT INFLUENCE YOUR DECISIONS.
I did and now I so fucking regret it big time. Please don't get caught in the same trap I did.
I'd rather die trying to affect change than sitting on my ass bitching about how terrible everything is. Critical people who never try to make things any better are just social parasites. The gene pool would be better off without their contributions.