Sometimes I feel like my first orgasm was stolen from me. Most guys get it while masturbating or even with girls, but I got mine with ...
sorry, CG - that's bad. but even on your own isn't a guarantee that it is going to be good. my 1st O was solitary - exploring and trying to figure out what was happening to me. my parents were no help in the seks ed department. she literally told me about "birds and bees" (tweet and buzz!) and my friends weren't as far along as i was and were not a help either. when IT happened - i was terrified. i didn't know about M or Os and didn't know what was happening. i was sure i had done something incredibly wrong - everything else i did seemed to be wrong - and this was obviously something BIG! and the whole atmosphere in the house was so permeated with sekual repression and the conviction that it was all bad, dirty and evil - that IT was an incredibly traumatic experience. i felt like i'd been turned inside out - physically and emotionally. there was an element of exquisite pleasure in it - but far overshadowed by the negative feelings of fear and guilt and self-condemnation. this was at age 11? and i'd been experiencing abuse since 5 1/5 with big Es but never the O before. i was so horrified that even after learning what M was all about, it was pbobly 3 years before i tried it myself voluntarily. i am sure that this 1st experience affected my whole attitude toward anything sekual for the rest of my childhood and most of my adult years - only recently starting to recover from it. so - i guess there are many ways of getting the wrong start - and ignorance, neglect and a toxic atmosphere is another one of them.
"My experience has shown me that I all too often tend to deny that which lies behind, but as I still believe, that which is denied cannot be healed." Brennan Manning, "All is Grace - A Ragamuffin Memoir"