Former MP Cyril Smith raped boys under 16 and broke a toilet seat with his fat ass, according to the Independent:

http://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/crime/cyril-smith-named-in-barnes-abuse-case-8468370.html
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I'll be just fine and dandy
Lord, it's like a hard candy Christmas
I'm barely getting through tomorrow
But I won't let sorrow get me way down.