I wish I understood your wife. I don't. I can't even see where she is coming from. I KNEW this was big trauma, probably moreso than my husband did. Don't laugh, but Oprah shows alone should tip any regular person off that is somethign you don't exactly just "get over." Are you entirely sure you aren't potentially unearthing some hidden sexual trauma for her that if she helps you face yours, she'll be forced to deal with her own? I hate that she is being so unreasonable because I'm not optimistic that she will be invested in reading up on this so she can understand at the VERY LEAST that there is no switch you flip and just get over it. I'd love it if she would read up on the science of it all, the elevated cortisol levels fed by the hyper-vigilance of a child under siege. If your depiction here is accurate, you ARE on your own (at least for a while). I am so sorry about that. So very sorry. But you know that, and your responsbility is to heal whether your partner helps you or not. You owe it to yourself. So surround yourself with people and situations that are conducive to that. Group sessions, therapy, books, whatever. Heal at all costs. Grab hold to wholeness and do not let go. Fight for it with ever fiber of your being.
Wife of a survivor