All good points. What you said, Cas, about uncertainty equaling stress especially resonated and my wife happens to agree with you.
We were talking about it today because I woke up from a disturbing, stress-induced sex dream where I was having an really inappropriate affair with a guy friend for whom I've never had anything but normal guy-friend feelings for. Deeply disturbing ... really upsetting.
The thing about the dream was this and here's where I could use some help. While I'm in the dream and events kind of roll over from 'is this happening' to 'oh my god, this is really happening ... I'm finally getting my feelings fulfilled.' The emotions of that moment are so much different from how I feel in normal intimacy with my wife. I've always chalked that feeling to just gratuitous fulfillment of desires ... but is that all there is to it?
Told my wife about it and she took it like a champ. Even said, "Look ... for you, fraternal feelings are somehow wired to sex. Don't read into the dream too much." She can be a real comfort sometimes.
What do you think?