the main differences i see in the past year to 15 months that i have been actively participating - is that guys have come and gone as their recovery progresses or they need to take a break or feel like they are not getting anywhere - or whatever...

i see many different names here than i used to - along with a smattering of the same familiar and well-known ones. i am both saddened and encouraged by both. it's good to know that those who need this resource are finding it. but it is sobering to know that they do need it - and why. it also makes me sad to miss some that have moved on - for various reasons. but if moving on means transcending a certain stage of recovery - that is so good! and those of us who remain - it's a very real and comforting feeling to have the company!

i have not noticed posts or threads generally expressing a different sort of content than earlier - maybe i'm less perceptive to that - or maybe it's that i naturally gravitate to the ones that speak to me personally and don't notice the others as much. i do know that i am originating fewer threads than i did when i was newer here and had so many questions and was dealing with issues and memories that were still fresh and raw. i do more responding than initiating recently.

i think there is a natural ebb and flow to topics that come up and trigger reactions from others and then subside. this is a positive thing in my opinion. like group therapy - where anyone with the same or similar junk can pitch in. i've been substantially helped in processing things by the discussions that i've read and then participated in - that i might not have thought about for who knows how long - without the outside prompting.

bottom line - i don't know where i'd be without MS and you all. and though we occasionally squabble like siblings - for me the benefits far outweigh the inevitable imperfections.

"My experience has shown me that I all too often tend to deny that which lies behind, but as I still believe, that which is denied cannot be healed." Brennan Manning, "All is Grace - A Ragamuffin Memoir"