Glad you posted - I hope it proves that reaching out is worth it!
I also mid forties and a family with background in compulsivity and addictions and have been addressing my abuse recovery for about three years now. I can say that a strong program and support for my addictions has been a great foundation and strength for me in healing from the abuse and working thru the issues I've carried around for years.
Make yourself at home here and read as much about recovery as you can. And keep sharing at these forums.
We have to take responsibility for what we're not responsible for.
�It doesn't matter where you've come from,
It matters where you go" Frank Turner