congratulations on your ongoing recovery from those addictions. hopefully, this step of talking about your past and the painful events will add to your progress. there are many here who can relate to various details of your experiences - myself included. the support, info, encouragement and comradeship of the guys here has been a major part of my recovery journey. hope you find the same.
How long, LORD, must I call for help, but you do not listen?
Or cry out to you, “Violence!” but you do not save?
Why do you make me look at injustice?
Why do you tolerate wrongdoing?...
Therefore the law is paralyzed, and justice never prevails....